John Fit

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” Thomas Jefferson (James Dean looked much cooler than Thomas J, so he got the spot..)

I said I was not only going to work your body out, but I would also exercise your mind. Well, here I am delivering a little food for thought.. I see very few people who have that classic cool derived from a James Dean, a Marlon Brando, or a Clint Eastwood (Yeah.. I think Clint was cool as ice).. There are a few principles you can drive into your personality that I’ve noticed are commonalties among the coolest & most successful people I’ve ever met. Now, understand I’m a very deep thinker (sometimes to a fault) but this is the reason I’m now able to control any situation without being controlling (I don’t mean controlling in a negative way.. I’m in control of myself) and read people accurately. I read body language like a book, I habitually pay attention to voice tone, and I intuitively study eye contact. I’ve seen the strong and confident, and worked with the insecure and confused. I’m going to lay out a few things that you should add to your character that will make you become a leader and a guy/or girl people want to be around all the time.

First of all, know that there is no technique or line that gives you these qualities. This has to become who you are. Its an energy people feel, and it doesn’t necessarily come with words. Its very tough to add something to who you are that doesn’t come natural, but I figure after doing anything consistently for 90 days it will become habit.

Understand who you are and be REAL- Before anything can be done with passion and conviction you have to belief in it 100%. If you are acting in a way that is not you, people will pick up on it immediately and label you as insecure. If you are a Pianist, be a pianist all the time! Don’t be afraid to talk about The Piano. Teach people how to play the Piano, and when someone asks you something other than Pianos & you don’t know the answer, Respond with, “I don’t know.. Ask me about the Piano though.. That’s my specialty!” And smile.. I’m not saying be one dimensional, but it is important to figure out who you are, what you stand for, and commit to it fearlessly. Which leads me to #2..

Become Fearless & Honest- I have no fear of talking to ANYONE. I will talk to anyone about anything.. I’m not afraid to tell a girl she’s beautiful, I’m not afraid to tell an older businessman I think he’s full crap, I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong, & I’m always honest (without being hurtful). Become a person that never runs & hides and can be comfortable in any situation. And if you’re not comfortable in a really bad situation, then don’t be afraid to say.. I’m not comfortable here.. and Leave.. Be Fearless and be Honest.. Honesty is something I can’t help but respect. When someone’s not being honest, I know it immediately. And when you lose trust with anyone, its very tough to earn back. You can make wrong things right, but when you deliberately deceive people, you will get shut out forever! (Marlon Brando doesn’t like what he’s hearing this picture.. I think he’s gonna get real honest with his lady friend!)

Stop Caring What Other People Think About You & Relax- Show me a leader that was liked by everyone. It doesn’t exist. I’ve found most people are walking around life totally insecure about themselves. If someone isn’t open to your opinion or is negative on who you are, its probably because they have a problem with themselves. If you are being the REAL You, then intelligent people will pick up on your confidence and respect you for anything you say.

Make People Feel Good About Themselves- I never lose the chance to tell someone something nice that will make them feel good about themselves. Like I said, most people are insecure and have a low self-esteem.. If you make someone feel value, they will be addicted to being around you. Try seeing the positive side of everyone & exploit that. The checkout lady @ the grocery store the other day was a little old, obviously not happy with her job, seemed to be down on life. But I noticed that she had an interesting blue tint to her eyes. So, I said curiously, “Wow.. Your eyes are beautiful.. What color blue is that?” She immediately responds with, “Sky blue! Some people think they are cobalt-looking but they are sky blue”.. ha.. She lit up! I smiled and said, “Well the sky IS blue like your eyes & it’s a beautiful day, and so are you.” Her smile had no end.. I made her feel good about herself & making people smile makes me feel good.. This is a great habit to get into..

Slow Down and Listen Up- One my best friends is 67 years old, and I’ve learned so much from this guy. He listens more than speaks and asks me more questions about me than talks about himself. He also speaks slowly and thinks before he talks. As I’ve blossomed from boy to man, I’ve found this to be what successful people do. I’ve spent time with many young people that talk 100 miles an hour and love talking about themselves. Get in the habit of speaking slowly and clearly, and become genuinely interested in other people. That is Rule #1 in making friends, right..

I could rant & rave about this stuff for pages and pages, but I’m not Dr. Phil and don’t want to appear that way. I see many things happening around me that have so much negativity and insecurity in it that its doing no one any favors. The bottom Line is: Figure out who you are & become an expert on you. Be very honest and passionate with how you feel about the world, and at the very worst, you will earn respect & trust, and that is a very precious gift! These are all qualities that are a part of who I am today, not necessarily who I’ve always been. Keeping your cool and having personality is like a muscle. You have to work it out & over time it develops! Take this mentally fit formula and plug it into who you are to establish a leadership mentality! (And the crowd goes wild! The applauding & cheering is so loud and amazing.. Yay! Yay! haha)

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